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The Oldest Joke in the Book website, has a bunch of jokes and funny images. Some of these are racist, sexual and offensive. If you are offended in anyway please do not stay on this site.
Joke
Old Dog
A Wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari inAfrica, taking her faithful aged poodle along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, he discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike. A look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. The old poodle sees the monkey heading after the leopard, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans, and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!'
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?' But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, 'Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!'
Moral of the story...
Don't mess with old farts. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
Next Joke
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, he discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike. A look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. The old poodle sees the monkey heading after the leopard, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans, and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!'
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?' But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, 'Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!'
Moral of the story...
Don't mess with old farts. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
Next Joke
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