Welcome to the Oldest Joke Site
The Oldest Joke in the Book website, has a bunch of jokes and funny images. Some of these are racist, sexual and offensive. If you are offended in anyway please do not stay on this site.
Joke
Putting your affairs in order
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news.
You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room, where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences .. and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'
Next Joke
You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room, where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences .. and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'
Next Joke
Newest Jokes
All JokesNewest Pictures
All PicturesQuote of the Day
Happiness is an act not an accident.Gross Facts
When the British warrior queen Boudicca marched on the Roman town of Londinium (London) her army killed 70,000 people.Top Rated Jokes
14, Feb 2008
15, Sep 2010
26, Sep 2010
26, Mar 2009
15, Sep 2010
10, Oct 2010
Top Rated Pictures
14, Apr 2006
06, Jul 2006
08, Aug 2007
08, Aug 2007
06, Jun 2006
09, May 2006
