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The Oldest Joke in the Book website, has a bunch of jokes and funny images. Some of these are racist, sexual and offensive. If you are offended in anyway please do not stay on this site.

Joke

Farm Hand and the Pig

A Northern Territory farm hand (An Aboriginal) radios back to the farm manager.

'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the ute. The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bull bars at the front of my ute and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.'

The manager says,'Ok, there's a .303Rifle behind the seat. Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him.'

Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can't go on'.

'Now what's the problem?' raged the Manager.

'Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck under the right-front wheel arch.'

'.. You there Boss?'

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Quote of the Day

In some Islamic societies, you would never bring a seek person flowers and candies. As we do in this country. Instead you would tell them a story of patience, endurance and triumph. The images such a tale would plant in their awareness would circulate through their souls just as powerfully as a medicinal elixir would travel to the diseased cells by way of the blood stream. The more the story is considered, the more it can empower the bodies own healing mechanisms.